Another Show of Hands

How many of you tards would stay married to Tiger for 2 years for $55 million?

I once heard a song about how money can't buy me love. $55 mil could buy tolerance.

is that taxable?

clothier wrote:

is that taxable?

Tolerance taxes me.

Agent 13 wrote:

How many of you tards would stay married to Tiger for 2 years for $55 million?

If this really is the deal it would be interesting to know what "stay married" actually means contractually. If it means living a luxurious separate life while not letting the motherfucker lay a hand on you but just not filing divorce papers for 2 years I'm thinking that Elin (or any other woman) could do that while standing on one ovary.

Define stay married. If it means I get as many "options" as Tiger, sure thing! If we are both faithful to each other for the entire run, no problemo. If I have to only have sex with my philandering, stick-his-penis-in-anything husband, well, THAT WOULD BE A DEAL BREAKER.

My vote for Tiger line of the day (so far):

Tiger Woods is the first person to crash into a hydrant and set himself on fire.

The Goddess wrote:

Define stay married. If it means I get as many "options" as Tiger, sure thing! If we are both faithful to each other for the entire run, no problemo. If I have to only have sex with my philandering, stick-his-penis-in-anything husband, well, THAT WOULD BE A DEAL BREAKER.

Really?? For $55 Million.

I am clearly not as principled as you. I'd do it for a lot less.

So, you're saying that you'd let Tiger Woods stick his penis in you?

Independent George wrote:

So, you're saying that you'd let Tiger Woods stick his penis in you?

For that kind of coin...you betcha!

I've gotten it up the ass at nearly every job I have ever had and/or by people I have employed...and for a lot less $$$.

I hope you don't think less of me.

Not at all. How could I?

But, forgive me if I politely decline the next time you offer me the opportunity to "freshen up" at Stately WOT Manor.

Independent George wrote:

Not at all. How could I?

But, forgive me if I politely decline the next time you offer me the opportunity to "freshen up" at Stately WOT Manor.

Fear not, you don't have the $$$ to buy that kind of attention or gain that kind of access.

Sorry

Agent 13 wrote:

Independent George wrote:

So, you're saying that you'd let Tiger Woods stick his penis in you?

For that kind of coin...you betcha!

Mouth...................ass......................or both?

pastrami-on-wry wrote:

Agent 13 wrote:

Independent George wrote:

So, you're saying that you'd let Tiger Woods stick his penis in you?

For that kind of coin...you betcha!

Mouth...................ass......................or both?

Your need for details is troubling.

Tell you what. If it happens I'll take photos for you.

Agent 13 wrote:

pastrami-on-wry wrote:

Agent 13 wrote:

Independent George wrote:

So, you're saying that you'd let Tiger Woods stick his penis in you?

For that kind of coin...you betcha!

Mouth...................ass......................or both?

Your need for details is troubling.

Tell you what. If it happens I'll take photos for you.

Thanks but please make sure they're not blurry.

pastrami-on-wry wrote:

Thanks but please make sure they're not blurry.

They'll only be blurry if I am eating a pastrami sandwich

Agent 13 wrote:

Really?? For $55 Million.

I am clearly not as principled as you. I'd do it for a lot less.

True 'dat. You're currently staying married for less than that, right, Agent 13?

pastrami-on-wry wrote:

Mouth...................ass......................or both?

As Amy Grant once said (at least I think it was Amy Grant), you can't spell "moral" without "oral."

i95 wrote:

pastrami-on-wry wrote:

Mouth...................ass......................or both?

As Amy Grant once said (at least I think it was Amy Grant), you can't spell "moral" without "oral."

I think it was probably Ulysses S. Grant who said that.

i95 wrote:

Agent 13 wrote:

Really?? For $55 Million.

I am clearly not as principled as you. I'd do it for a lot less.

True 'dat. You're currently staying married for less than that, right, Agent 13?

Its for the children...think about the children!!!

Hey...while on the subject of stepping out and getting some action...I'll have you know I did some late night grocery shopping and was approached by a somewhat overly friendly person seeking my help with the scanner they have at the self check out. After rendering help to this person, they said they knew a big, strong, handsome guy like me could help.

Issue #1:

Bad eyesight...big, yes...strong, if we are talking odor, yes...handsome...uhhhh...no

Issue #2:

It was a dude.

Issue #3

He didn't have $55 million

pastrami-on-wry wrote:

i95 wrote:

pastrami-on-wry wrote:

Mouth...................ass......................or both?

As Amy Grant once said (at least I think it was Amy Grant), you can't spell "moral" without "oral."

I think it was probably Ulysses S. Grant who said that.

Wasn't Ulysses S. Grant one of them Greek gods? Like that guy who married Mrs. Kennedy...Aeropostale Onassis?

pastrami-on-wry wrote:

i95 wrote:

pastrami-on-wry wrote:

Mouth...................ass......................or both?

As Amy Grant once said (at least I think it was Amy Grant), you can't spell "moral" without "oral."

I think it was probably Ulysses S. Grant who said that.

James Joyce wrote a whole book about it, didn't he?

Agent 13 wrote:

...handsome...uhhhh...no

I think you are hawt, Aggie 13.

Agent 13 wrote:

Issue #2:

It was a dude.

Issue #3

He didn't have $55 million

Coupla questions, if I may....

(1, 2, and C) How did you ascertain that this young buck did not have $55 million? Did it come up in conversation? And, if so, did the offer of anal and/or oral sex come up prior to the discovery of the lack of funds?

The Goddess wrote:

pastrami-on-wry wrote:

i95 wrote:

pastrami-on-wry wrote:

Mouth...................ass......................or both?

As Amy Grant once said (at least I think it was Amy Grant), you can't spell "moral" without "oral."

I think it was probably Ulysses S. Grant who said that.

James Joyce wrote a whole book about it, didn't he?

You mean Finnegan's Wake? That wasn't about that Greek guy from the civilest of wars...I think that was about...ummm...it was about...650 goddamn pages too long!