Little Scottie was a real handful. Nobody could control him. After two weeks in the second grade, his parents are called into school and notified that he is too wild and disruptive, and is being expelled.
Realizing that Scottie needs more personal attention, his parents enroll him in a private school. He lasts a week and a half, at which point, the tuition is returned with a request to find him another school.
Perhaps it was spiritual guidance that Scottie needed, so his folks took him to a famous yeshiva where he would receive both a secular and Jewish religious education. He was expelled after two days for putting a pork chop in the Rabbi's lunchbox.
Thinking that perhaps more discipline was in order, his parents send him to an exclusive military academy. It took four days for him to be court-martialed. It was only through a lawyer's intervention that he wasn't put before a firing squad.
Oh, Scottie was a bad, bad boy. His parents were at their wits' end. Finally, their Italian neighbors suggested the local Catholic school. The nuns were tough, they told him. Perhaps they could whip him into shape. At first, his parents balked at the idea of sending their Jewish son to Catholic school, but they what other choices did they have? He'd already been kicked out of every school he'd attended. Finally, desperate, they relent.
One, two, three months go by. Scottie is getting wonderful grades and good reports from his teachers. His parents are thrilled but puzzled.
"Listen, Scottie, darling. We're thrilled that you're doing so well in school now, but we're curious. You got expelled from public school, private school, yeshiva and military school, and yet, you, a Jewish boy, is doing great in Catholic school. We'd just like to know what's caused this wonderful new attitude."
"Well," says Scottie, "When I saw that Jewish kid nailed up to that big cross, I know those nuns didn't f&*k around!"
