Lions 2009 Schedule

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2009 LIONS SCHEDULE

September
13................. Taft Junior High School
20................Cub Scout Troop #101
27................. Detroit Blind Academy

October
04.................Spanish American War Vets
11................Crippled Children's Home
18............... Eloise Mental Hospital
25................Girl Scout Troop # 353

November
01.................. Michigan Venereal Disease Clinic
08.................Fraser Boys Choir
15.................Korean Amputees
22................. National Hospital Pastorial Ministers
26. ................ Great Lakes Sychronized Swimming Team

SPECIAL MONDAY NIGHT GAME
December 08.................. Grand Rapids Gay Boys Club

RULE CHANGES FROM LAST YEAR **
1 - When playing polio patients, the Lions must not disconnect knee braces.

2 - When playing the Blind Academy , the Lions must not hide the football under their jerseys.

** RULES THE SAME FROM LAST YEAR **
1 - A touchdown (this is when the ball is carried over the goal line. For all you Lions fans that have never seen this) it is still worth 6 points.

2 - The Lions will be allowed 20 men on the field at all times.

3 - The Lions will be allowed to substitute with band members at anytime.

4 - The Lions will be awarded 10 timeouts as opposed to 3 for the opposing team.

5 - The Lions will be awarded a first down with each gain of three yards or more, instead of the usual ten yards.

** NAME CHANGE **
The Detroit Lions will be changed to the " Detroit
Tampons" as they are only good for one period and have no second string.

** COACHING CHANGES **
Field goal kicker will be replaced by Monica Lewinsky. She will no doubt blow a few, but she certainly won't choke on the big ones!!!

Subject: Re: Lions 2009 Schedule Mon Jan 26, 2009 3:31 pm

Somebody needs to throw a flag, this should definitely draw a taunting penalty.

Subject: Re: Lions 2009 Schedule Mon Jan 26, 2009 4:25 pm

Angry Liberal wrote:: 2009 LIONS SCHEDULE

Who?

Subject: Re: Lions 2009 Schedule Tue Jan 27, 2009 9:09 am

5 words:

Arizona Cardinals, Super Bowl Champions.

and the meek shall inherit the earth.

Guest

Don't know what's worse. Still not planning to watch the game.

Subject: Re: Lions 2009 Schedule Wed Jan 28, 2009 9:51 am

Really?

Not going to watch?

Not even the 1st quarter?

You are going to miss my commercial if you don't watch.

Subject: Re: Lions 2009 Schedule Wed Jan 28, 2009 10:02 am

C'mon AL, I'll take AZ to win if you want to go double or nothing on the stogies you owe me.

Subject: Re: Lions 2009 Schedule Wed Jan 28, 2009 10:38 am

clothier wrote:: You are going to miss my commercial if you don't watch.

Are you going to catch a Doritos chip in your mouth again? If so, I'll be watching.

Subject: Re: Lions 2009 Schedule Wed Jan 28, 2009 11:11 am

nope, not this time.

decided that the on line job hunt wasn't going so well, so I figured I'd take it right to the man.

For it's money I have, but a job I lack.

It's 15 seconds worth of everything you need to know to hire me. I only padded it a little, maybe 10-11 seconds worth.

I think Microsoft bought the other half of the 30 second block. It was all they could afford.

Subject: Re: Lions 2009 Schedule Wed Jan 28, 2009 11:18 am

If you need references we're here for you.

Subject: Re: Lions 2009 Schedule Mon Mar 02, 2009 10:30 am

QUESTION: What do you call a member of the Detroit Lions lost at sea?

ANSWER: Progress.

Subject: Re: Lions 2009 Schedule Mon Mar 02, 2009 11:20 am

i95 wrote:: QUESTION: What do you call a member of the Detroit Lions lost at sea?

ANSWER: Progress.

This is an extremely rude piece of humor. I wouldn't be surprised for you to sink as low as to say that you would've expected one of the missing players to be a member of the New York Jetsam.

Subject: Re: Lions 2009 Schedule Mon Mar 02, 2009 12:53 pm

1 down, 51 to go.

Subject: Re: Lions 2009 Schedule Mon Mar 02, 2009 1:08 pm

*** UPDATE FROM WXYZ-TV IN DETROIT ***

Report: Overturned Boat Found in Search Area

Last Update: 12:52 pm

CLEARWATER, FLORIDA (WXYZ) - There are unconfirmed reports that the Coast Guard has found an overturned boat in the massive search area off the Florida coast where 4 football players disappeared over the weekend. It is also being reported that someone was spotted hanging onto the boat.

The Coast Guard is searching for a former Detroit Lions player and three others missing after they didn't return from their fishing trip in Florida. It is not yet known if the boat is the vessel belonging to the missing men.

Coast Guard officials say they're searching for defensive end Corey Smith, and three others, including Oakland Raiders linebacker Marquis Cooper, William Bleakley and Nick Schuyler.

MICHAEL ROSENFIELD REPORTS ON THE SEARCH IN THE VIDEO PLAYER ON THE RIGHT

Bleakley and Schuyler were teammates on the University of South Florida football team earlier this decade.

The Coast Guard received a call about 1:30 a.m. Sunday that the four people did not return from their fishing trip as expected.

Smith and the others left Clearwater Pass in a 21-foot center console boat at 6:30 a.m. Saturday.

Coast Guard boats and helicopters are out searching about 50 miles off the coast of Clearwater. ESPN.com recently reported the search has been expanded to include two Air Force helicopters, a C-130 transport plan and an 87-foot Coast Guard cutter.

The Lions released the following statement this afternoon:

“We are closely monitoring the Coast Guard reports involving a missing fishing boat off the Gulf Coast of Florida. We have been informed by the Coast Guard that one of the passengers is Corey Smith, who played for the Lions the past three seasons.

"We will continue to gather more information, while maintaining constant communication with the Coast Guard and local Florida authorities. First and foremost, however, is that our thoughts and prayers are with all the passengers, their families and all those involved in the search efforts.

“We will provide further updates when more information becomes available.”

Smith is a six-year veteran from North Carolina State. He joined the Lions prior to the 2006 season and played in 12 games for Detroit in 2008.

Smith became an unrestricted free agent on Friday.

He accumulated 20 total tackles and three sacks, forcing one fumble and intercepting a pass against the Minnesota Vikings on December 7 at Ford Field.

Prior to joining the Lions, Smith played two seasons in San Francisco and three seasons in Tampa Bay. 2008 was his most productive season as a professional football player.

Cooper, a five-year NFL veteran, played eight games with the Oakland Raiders in 2008. He was originally signed by Tampa Bay prior to the 2004 season, where he played for two years before being released.

Since 2006, Cooper has played with five different teams, including Minnesota, Pittsburgh, Seattle, Jacksonville, and Oakland.

Stay with Action News and WXYZ.com as this story develops.

Subject: Re: Lions 2009 Schedule Mon Mar 02, 2009 2:01 pm

they found Nick Schuyler.

No sign of the other 3.

Stay with the boat. Always stay with the freaking boat.

Subject: Re: Lions 2009 Schedule Mon Mar 02, 2009 2:10 pm

clothier wrote:: they found Nick Schuyler.

Damn. I would've laid pretty good odds that it would've been Jin Kwon whom they found. LOL. I don't have a clue.

Subject: Re: Lions 2009 Schedule Mon Mar 02, 2009 2:57 pm

I think you mean Qui Gon Jim Lions 2009 Schedule Qui_gon_jinn_02

Subject: Re: Lions 2009 Schedule Fri Aug 28, 2009 4:36 pm

ok, so here's the deal:

there are 54 men on the roster for a pro team (or even semi-pro like the Lions) and already, without final cuts, the lions have less then 50% of the team left from last year. One of the local reporters asked one of the new guys about how last year was affecting the team, and player went off about how this is a new team, new coaches, and a new start. The reporter held his ground. He said to the player: you mean like the previous "new starts" that have lead to the worst record in the NFL over the past 30 years, and has produced 1 playoff victory since 1954?

The player stormed away.

I picking 2-14. Thank god the Rams are on the schedule.

Subject: Re: Lions 2009 Schedule Mon Sep 28, 2009 2:31 am

Kudos, clothier. Our Great National Tragedy is over. I think you'll find 1-15 much more satisfying than 0-16.

Subject: Re: Lions 2009 Schedule Mon Nov 09, 2009 9:41 pm

Lions 2009 Schedule Former-lions-gm-matt-millen

Yet even further proof that Matt Millen is an idiot:

http://twitter.com/RealtorToby/statuses/5518020122

Subject: Re: Lions 2009 Schedule Mon Nov 09, 2009 10:05 pm

that is so silly. everyone knows he plays tight end.

seacreast out.

Subject: Re: Lions 2009 Schedule Wed Nov 18, 2009 1:17 pm

Lions 2009 Schedule Large_WEB-Silverdome_ForSale

Silverdome sold for less than a studio apartment in Manhattan Lions 2009 Schedule Twocents

Subject: Re: Lions 2009 Schedule Wed Nov 18, 2009 4:56 pm

they turned down my bid.

i wanted to make the world's largest girlie bar.

Subject: Re: Lions 2009 Schedule Wed Nov 18, 2009 5:11 pm

We really all should have chipped in to create the new WOT World Headquarters. The place may not be big enough, but at that price, we could have built on an addition.

Subject: Re: Lions 2009 Schedule Mon Nov 08, 2010 4:29 pm

Is it my imagination, or are the Lions coming up with new ways to lose football games each week?

If they are, they should get some serious creativity points for yesterday's fiasco.

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