so, um, let's see, what's the phrase?

oh, yeah.


did you all go to fricking florida with POW?

Nah, I'm here. I'm grounded this week.

what?

it's football season, I'm easily distracted.

you know what I mean?

did someone say something?

she did:

Thanks for, to quote one of our fellow posters...the "quasi-juvenile beatoff fantasy that is bitterly clung to by (this) middle-aged....man(?)."

i don't know what that means, but you're welcome.

clothier wrote:

i don't know what that means, but you're welcome.

I don't really know what it means either, but they wrote it after the last run of similar photos. I assumed it meant they liked them...I mean...who wouldn't?

i95 wrote:

clothier wrote:

did you all go to fricking florida with POW?

[center]Well, at least I am. We arrived here yesterday:



Or as my bear calls it, "Implant City." (He's so naughty!!)
Today, it's all day by the pool and tonight? Who knows?
Maybe some sausage with red sauce.

Thanks for, to quote one of our fellow posters...the "quasi-juvenile beatoff fantasy that is bitterly clung to by (this) middle-aged....man(?)."

pastrami-on-wry wrote:

Thanks for, to quote one of our fellow posters...the "quasi-juvenile beatoff fantasy that is bitterly clung to by (this) middle-aged....man(?)."

I would now officially like to disassociate myself from this conversation.


Not that there is anything wrong with it.

thanks.


no yellow ribbons?

This is the time of year when all good posters flee Florida.

By the way, I would like to share with you all my miserable travel day yesterday (Wednesday). Imagine things starting at straight-up midnight.

I walk my friend from Chicago, who also happens to be in NY at the same time as me - pure co-inky-dink - back to her hotel after a lovely late-night meal in Little Italy. I had the pollo marsala, in case you're interested. She didn't have nearly enough wine to make me more attractive.

We arrive at her hotel and she tells me that it would be silly of me to pay for a night at a hotel with such an early flight and it would be smarter of me to stay in her room (woooo hoooooo!!! )....in her extra bed (Ugh! ) than to drive to Newark at this late an hour. Realizing that this was a bad idea on any number of levels, I chose to drive to Newark. The Holland Tunnel, which was a mere stone's throw from her hotel, ended up taking me over an hour to cross, as construction brought passage down to one lane.

I arrived at my hotel just after 1 am to find that they were oversold and gave my guaranteed room away. I am a professional traveler - these things happen - so, I don't lose my cool - just ask what kind of compensation they will provide and they tell me that they are going to put me up at the Days Inn up the road. Yes, I was walked from a Marriott to a Days FUCKING Inn. My Platinum status - means nothing - have a nice night at the Days Inn - pay no mind to the drunk hookers passed out in the hotel elevator.

After now losing my cool, I made my way to the Days Inn, only to find out that the Marriott doesn't have a direct billing account with the Days Inn, so I needed to wait in the lobby for the guy from the Marriott (who sure as fuck doesn't want to see my happy ass again) to come over and pay for the room - IN CASH. Did I mention that my cross-country flight was at 7 am? Another half-hour passes before Marriott guy comes over and pays for the room. Steamed does not begin to describe my demeanor at the sight of this poor pimply-faced goober. Of course, all the while I am thinking, "why the hell didn't I just stay with (my friend) back in SoHo? I would be asleep by now...with a raging case of blue balls, but asleep, nonetheless!"

I finally get a key to head up to my room - after pounding on the keyboard for about 10 minutes, the clerk found me a king non-smoking room....get to the room, and the key doesn't work. So, I haul all my shit back downstairs - over the drunken hookers - and the guy starts laughing when he sees me come out of the elevator. "Ohh...I know what happened with you...." in his best Eddie Murphy in Coming to America voice. He gives me another key, apologizes and sends me on my way. This time, he told me that, God forbid, if the key doesn't work, just call down from the house phone (do you sense some foreshadowing?).

I get back up to the room (yes, over the drunken hookers, one more time) and put the key in the slot. The light, which should turn green if the key opens the door, or red if it doesn't (as had happened before) now turns YELLOW. Yellow???? So, I make my way over the house phone and call down to my now good friend. I explain the yellow light and he tells me "hmm...that's odd...the yellow light only goes on when someone has the dead bolt turned....uh-oh.....ummm....meet my guy on the sixth floor...I can upgrade you to a king suite for the night...I am REALLY sorry."

King suite....great. Just the kind of thing for my now TWO HOUR hotel stay. I ask him to make sure that he moves the two morning wake up calls from the first room to the second room - and he assures me that this is done (again...do you feel the foreshadowing?).

Needless to say, I can't sleep. Heck, I can't sleep under normal circumstances, but this sure as fuck ain't helping. I watched some South Park on Insomniac Theater....but, never did fall asleep.

Good thing, too...my wake up calls never came.

Epilogue: Made my flight, screaming kid right behind my head, no sleep, cranky fucker when I landed in PDX.

But, in the words of John Astin....."I'm feeling MUCH better now!"

hey George?


I'm sorry for your loss.

And I'm sorry that "Vernor Von Verbosity" couldn't have just told the condensed version of the above story which would've simply read, "I didn't stay at ellen4641's place but got fucked anyway."

Independent George wrote:

...with a raging case of blue balls

Ol' Blue Balls Is Back

pastrami-on-wry wrote:

Ol' Blue Balls Is Back

Don't you mean the "Chairman of the Board"?

i95 wrote:

pastrami-on-wry wrote:

Ol' Blue Balls Is Back

Don't you mean the "Chairman of the Board"?

Don't you mean "Chairman of the Bored"?

i95 wrote:

And I'm sorry that "Vernor Von Verbosity" couldn't have just told the condensed version....

Sorry. I was trying to make up for two months of not posting in one afternoon.



Now, go get your fuckin' shine box.

Independent George wrote:

Now, go get your fuckin' shine box.

I really love that line...but when ever I use it I am always met with blank stares. You the man George!

The picture doesn't really fit...but, I am glad you got the idea.

Goodfellas may be even more quotable in my neck of the woods than Seinfeld.