HOW NOT TO RETURN SOMETHING TO A STORE

So, I'm at working last Monday, doing what some people might consider to be work, and this gentleman walks in with a golf bag. A golf bag that has seen a better day. it has faded consideribly in the sun.

"I just bought this bag, and it looks like shit, and I want you to send it back to the damn company and get me a new one".

"Do you have the reciept?" says I, trying to stay calm, even though there are kids in the store who shouldn't have to hear this man swear.

"hell no" he says, "ya got all my damn info in the fucking computer, look it up"

"Sir", I say, "please stop swearing. If you keep swearing like that, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

He gives me his phone number, we find the bag in his sales history, and it's a year and a half old. The bag is warrantied for a year.

I tell him I'll send it back to the company for him, but that he needs to know that the bag is 6 months out of warranty, and he's not likely to get a new bag, but perhaps some sort of credit good for the purchase of a new one.

"fuck no. I want a god-damn new fucking bag"

"Sir, you need to leave the store. You just can't speak like that in here".


"I want the fucking manager out here right fucking now".

"I am the manager".


"Shit".

"Sir, I'm calling the police".

By the way, calling the police is always going to work in my favor, since we pretty much give those guys whatever they want. I don't think thosr guys even know how much a dozen golf balls cost, and we are OK with that. Plus, they get here in a big hurry. But I don't think he knows this.

He leaves.

5 minutes later the phone rings.
Cashier says the guy on the phone wants to talk to the manager, and she thinks it's the same guy.
I pick up the phone. He tells me his name, and starts to tell me what just happened, using more of the same style of language that got him booted out of the store to begin with.

"Sir, if you swear at me one more time, I'm hanging up the phone".

"Don't you fucking".

click.

Phone rings again.

I answer it.

"I want your name".

I tell him.

"I want your boss's name and phone number".

I tell him.


"I'm going to have your fucking job".

I say "you mean the job where I have to talk to people like you? You can have that part."

click.

2 days later. I walk in to work. My boss is laughing to beat the band. "did you really threaten to call the cops on some guy?"

"Yep", says I. I tell him the story.

He laughs some more.

My boss got a phone call not only from the guy, but from the bag company, complaining about the guy, who called the company, and was none the nicer to them.

The morale of the story?

Like my mom always says: you catch more flies with honey then you do with vinegar.

Nice job.

I am not as patient as you. I wish I was, but I am not.

Years ago when working retail I had a dispute with a customer over what she felt was false advertising. She believed that a set of glassware, which was advertised as having 12 ounce glasses had glasses of a lower capacity. She felt that her discovery of our deceit and fraud entitled her to a free set of glassware. I said I wasn't sure if she was correct about the capacity of the glasses, at which time her husband accused me of calling his wife a liar. I indicated that I didn't mean to make such an accusation, I only stated I was unsure if she was correct. I went over to the house-wears department, got a measuring cup, filled it with 12 ounces and we all discovered the glasses actually held closer to 13 ounces. End of story, or so I thought.

When I left work an hour later the guy was waiting for me, told me he had no tolerance for wise asses, and took a swing at me. He missed. I didn't.

I guess the bottom line is that honey is always a good thing to keep handy, but having a bottle of vinegar somewhere in the cupboard is not a bad idea either.

"This is not the best breakfast I ever ate."

i95 wrote:

"This is not the best breakfast I ever ate."

How about I kick 100% of your ass!

I used to manage a small exclusive ladies shop for a compnay that did not take returns. Period. Ever. Not even with the recipt...and no exchanges.
And the stories are much like the above..sometimes hourly.
Some people live to return ...I mean live for it. and it gave me great pleasure and power to just say no.
Fortunatley when I gave them my name and my bosses name...my boss was French...it only made it worse for them. I miss that job.

Dire Fromage wrote:

Some people live to return ...I mean live for it.

What the hell is up with that. My wife will shop, and bring home several items, knowing she only plans to keep one or two and return the others. Why not decide at the store and save the trip? To me having to return something is a sign of failure. Either the item failed, or I failed to assess my needs properly. Live to return?? That is a head scratcher to me!

Agent 13 wrote:

What the hell is up with that. My wife will shop, and bring home several items, knowing she only plans to keep one or two and return the others.

Don't you think that all wives secretly (some not so secretly) wish there was a refund counter for husbands?

pastrami-on-wry wrote:

Agent 13 wrote:

What the hell is up with that. My wife will shop, and bring home several items, knowing she only plans to keep one or two and return the others.

Don't you think that all wives secretly (some not so secretly) wish there was a refund counter for husbands?

Yes, yes I do...especially lately.

We ought to stop kidding ourselves ....most husbands would be releived that ther wives want to return them. ...and who doesn't want a divorce from time to time...

Dire Fromage wrote:

We ought to stop kidding ourselves ....most husbands would be releived that ther wives want to return them. ...and who doesn't want a divorce from time to time...

Yes, yes I do...especially lately.

Agent 13, what's your wife's e-mail address again?

i95 wrote:

Agent 13, what's your wife's e-mail address again?

Oh trust me, she don't need to hear it from you!

Nothing, I repeat nothing is better then a Full House reset.


you made my day.