Exactly
 
HomeFAQSearchUsergroupsRegister

Share | 
 

 An etiquette quandary....

Go down 
Go to page : 1, 2  Next
AuthorMessage
Independent George
Internets Tool
Internets Tool
avatar

Number of posts : 2200
Registration date : 2008-03-06

PostSubject: An etiquette quandary....   Wed Dec 01, 2010 10:52 am

The men's bathroom here at the Hall of Justice has two stalls and a urinal. When one arrives to drop one's kids off at the pool and the "other" stall is in use, does etiquette dictate that the person occupying the first stall finish his business quickly, so as to allow the later arrival a peaceful squatting experience - or, should the second person rush through the process and end his session as fast as humanly possible to protect the identity of the aforementioned shitter?

I was going to post this on the Facebook, but I figured that you guys knew way more about shit than most of my other friends.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
i95
Needs Help
avatar

Number of posts : 4315
Registration date : 2008-03-07

PostSubject: Re: An etiquette quandary....   Wed Dec 01, 2010 11:25 am



Etiquette dictates that the
folllowing is owed in the shitter:

Brevity

No eye contact

No conversation

Hand-washing with REAL
soap and water

No acquiescing in any manner to some
douchelord's use of the cell phone in the can

And, of course and when
applicable, a courtesy flush




It's all pretty simple.


crap
Back to top Go down
View user profile
clothier
Needs Help
avatar

Number of posts : 3526
Registration date : 2008-03-05

PostSubject: Re: An etiquette quandary....   Wed Dec 01, 2010 11:38 am

you should write a book...
Back to top Go down
View user profile
pastrami-on-wry
Needs Help
avatar

Number of posts : 3289
Registration date : 2008-03-05

PostSubject: Re: An etiquette quandary....   Wed Dec 01, 2010 11:45 am

clothier wrote:
you should write a book...

Back to top Go down
View user profile
clothier
Needs Help
avatar

Number of posts : 3526
Registration date : 2008-03-05

PostSubject: Re: An etiquette quandary....   Wed Dec 01, 2010 12:11 pm

oh.


he already did?


can i get an autographed copy?
Back to top Go down
View user profile
i95
Needs Help
avatar

Number of posts : 4315
Registration date : 2008-03-07

PostSubject: Re: An etiquette quandary....   Wed Dec 01, 2010 1:00 pm

clothier wrote:
you should write a book...

What makes you think I haven't?
Clearly, you've never read:



Oh, sure, I had to put a sign in my
front yard and move from town-to-town
(for a, ah, er..."book tour") but still.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Agent 13
Needs Help
avatar

Number of posts : 4130
Location : Inside mailbox at bus station
Registration date : 2008-03-04

PostSubject: Re: An etiquette quandary....   Wed Dec 01, 2010 1:49 pm

That is an impressive list Mr 95. I would add only that in situations where there are side by side urinals, don't ask your boss if he wants to size up.

Bosses don't like that.
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://wayofftopic.darkbb.com
pastrami-on-wry
Needs Help
avatar

Number of posts : 3289
Registration date : 2008-03-05

PostSubject: Re: An etiquette quandary....   Wed Dec 01, 2010 2:10 pm

Also, I would suggest that most consider the expression "And it's deep, too" showing off.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
i95
Needs Help
avatar

Number of posts : 4315
Registration date : 2008-03-07

PostSubject: Re: An etiquette quandary....   Wed Dec 01, 2010 2:23 pm

Agent 13 wrote:
I would add only that in situations where there are side by side urinals, don't ask your boss if he wants to size up.

In that case, please also add: don't cross streams and don't do drugs.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Independent George
Internets Tool
Internets Tool
avatar

Number of posts : 2200
Registration date : 2008-03-06

PostSubject: Re: An etiquette quandary....   Wed Dec 01, 2010 4:02 pm

i95 wrote:


Etiquette dictates that the
folllowing is owed in the shitter:

Brevity

No eye contact

No conversation

Hand-washing with REAL
soap and water

No acquiescing in any manner to some
douchelord's use of the cell phone in the can

And, of course and when
applicable, a courtesy flush




It's all pretty simple.


crap

This gentleman apparently violated at least two of your Toilet Commandments.

Brevity - I got in, took care of business, got out, washed and left the room before my next door neighbor even moved off the bowl. I should also add that I had stopped at our reception desk to speak to one of the student workers for a few minutes prior to entry and didn't see anyone enter the restroom (not that I was in full on surveillance mode, mind you), so I suspect that he had been camped out there for some time prior to my arrival. I didn't hear pages turning or I would have just assumed that he was reading the paper - which, is fine when you're playing a home game, but a little rude when you're on the road.

Cell phone - While I did not hear newspaper rattling...I did hear the residual sound of a cell phone receiving text messages. What the fuck conversation is so important that it needs to be conducted on the shitter?

I would think that it is quite possible - given this person's flagrant abuse of the system - that he might also be a guy who doesn't wash his hands.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
pastrami-on-wry
Needs Help
avatar

Number of posts : 3289
Registration date : 2008-03-05

PostSubject: Re: An etiquette quandary....   Wed Dec 01, 2010 4:24 pm

Independent George wrote:
Cell phone - While I did not hear newspaper rattling...I did hear the residual sound of a cell phone receiving text messages. What the fuck conversation is so important that it needs to be conducted on the shitter?

he might also be a guy who doesn't wash his hands.

As much as I can't stand listening to some jackass in the next stall take calls (this happens regularly in airport bathrooms) while I'm trying to concentrate on my personal business, I am really nauseated by the thought that this jackass is pissing/shitting/wiping and handling his cellphone with the same hands. Even if he washes his hands after the fact, can you imagine the residual germage that has been transferred to the phone that he will shortly be blithely holding against his face and right up to his mouth? puke puke2
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Independent George
Internets Tool
Internets Tool
avatar

Number of posts : 2200
Registration date : 2008-03-06

PostSubject: Re: An etiquette quandary....   Wed Dec 01, 2010 4:43 pm

It is absolutely beyond the scope of my comprehension. There is absolutely no text or voice conversation that would trump the sanctity of taking a steaming dump.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
bbqboy
Unable to Focus
Unable to Focus
avatar

Number of posts : 403
Registration date : 2009-09-24

PostSubject: Re: An etiquette quandary....   Wed Dec 01, 2010 4:47 pm

unless the person on the other end was listening for the splash.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
i95
Needs Help
avatar

Number of posts : 4315
Registration date : 2008-03-07

PostSubject: Re: An etiquette quandary....   Wed Dec 01, 2010 4:50 pm

pastrami-on-wry wrote:
...this jackass is pissing/shitting/wiping and handling his cellphone with the same hands.

Poppy?
Back to top Go down
View user profile
pastrami-on-wry
Needs Help
avatar

Number of posts : 3289
Registration date : 2008-03-05

PostSubject: Re: An etiquette quandary....   Wed Dec 01, 2010 5:55 pm

Poppy's kinda sloppy.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Agent 13
Needs Help
avatar

Number of posts : 4130
Location : Inside mailbox at bus station
Registration date : 2008-03-04

PostSubject: Re: An etiquette quandary....   Wed Dec 01, 2010 7:47 pm

and he peed on my couch.
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://wayofftopic.darkbb.com
Independent George
Internets Tool
Internets Tool
avatar

Number of posts : 2200
Registration date : 2008-03-06

PostSubject: Re: An etiquette quandary....   Wed Dec 01, 2010 9:53 pm

It's OK. I can give the couch to my dad.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Agent 13
Needs Help
avatar

Number of posts : 4130
Location : Inside mailbox at bus station
Registration date : 2008-03-04

PostSubject: Re: An etiquette quandary....   Thu Dec 02, 2010 9:19 am

Just turn over the cushions
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://wayofftopic.darkbb.com
pastrami-on-wry
Needs Help
avatar

Number of posts : 3289
Registration date : 2008-03-05

PostSubject: Re: An etiquette quandary....   Thu Dec 02, 2010 10:39 am

Remembering his "floater" posts and his general affection for all things fecal, I was kind of hoping that his thread might flush out (sorry) the Pool Boy and get him to start posting again.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
i95
Needs Help
avatar

Number of posts : 4315
Registration date : 2008-03-07

PostSubject: Re: An etiquette quandary....   Thu Dec 02, 2010 11:41 am

Probably too busy with RogueFood.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
pastrami-on-wry
Needs Help
avatar

Number of posts : 3289
Registration date : 2008-03-05

PostSubject: Re: An etiquette quandary....   Thu Dec 02, 2010 12:27 pm

i95 wrote:
RogueFood

What?
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Angus McRib
Unable to Focus
Unable to Focus
avatar

Number of posts : 279
Location : Here, There, Everywhere
Registration date : 2009-03-04

PostSubject: Re: An etiquette quandary....   Thu Dec 02, 2010 1:43 pm

pastrami-on-wry wrote:
i95 wrote:
RogueFood

What?

Hey! My favorite site!!!!!!!
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://roguefood.com/
pastrami-on-wry
Needs Help
avatar

Number of posts : 3289
Registration date : 2008-03-05

PostSubject: Re: An etiquette quandary....   Thu Dec 02, 2010 3:16 pm

Back to top Go down
View user profile
Agent 13
Needs Help
avatar

Number of posts : 4130
Location : Inside mailbox at bus station
Registration date : 2008-03-04

PostSubject: Re: An etiquette quandary....   Thu Dec 02, 2010 3:16 pm

Is Angus really Larry?
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://wayofftopic.darkbb.com
Guest
Guest



PostSubject: Re: An etiquette quandary....   Thu Dec 02, 2010 3:39 pm

A public shitter? I thought you were some kind of super road warrior?

1st - Poor scheduling. Your BM should be like a finely tuned Swiss watch.

2nd - You couldn't talk your way into a private shitter somewhere in the building?

You're turning out to be half of the half of a man I thought you were. Please don't tell me you are an airplane shitter also.

Hey Angus! How they hangin buddy.
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: An etiquette quandary....   

Back to top Go down
 
An etiquette quandary....
Back to top 
Page 1 of 2Go to page : 1, 2  Next
 Similar topics
-
» Rules and Regulations for YuGiOh Offical Tournaments
» Yamadori - Etiquette and Philosophy.

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Way Off Topic :: Not Off Topic :: Social Issues, Disease, Distortions-
Jump to: