An etiquette quandary....

The men's bathroom here at the Hall of Justice has two stalls and a urinal. When one arrives to drop one's kids off at the pool and the "other" stall is in use, does etiquette dictate that the person occupying the first stall finish his business quickly, so as to allow the later arrival a peaceful squatting experience - or, should the second person rush through the process and end his session as fast as humanly possible to protect the identity of the aforementioned shitter?

I was going to post this on the Facebook, but I figured that you guys knew way more about shit than most of my other friends.

you should write a book...

oh.


he already did?


can i get an autographed copy?

That is an impressive list Mr 95. I would add only that in situations where there are side by side urinals, don't ask your boss if he wants to size up.

Bosses don't like that.

Also, I would suggest that most consider the expression "And it's deep, too" showing off.

Agent 13 wrote:

I would add only that in situations where there are side by side urinals, don't ask your boss if he wants to size up.

In that case, please also add: don't cross streams and don't do drugs.

i95 wrote:

Etiquette dictates that the
folllowing is owed in the shitter:

Brevity

No eye contact

No conversation

Hand-washing with REAL
soap and water

No acquiescing in any manner to some
douchelord's use of the cell phone in the can

And, of course and when
applicable, a courtesy flush



It's all pretty simple.

This gentleman apparently violated at least two of your Toilet Commandments.

Brevity - I got in, took care of business, got out, washed and left the room before my next door neighbor even moved off the bowl. I should also add that I had stopped at our reception desk to speak to one of the student workers for a few minutes prior to entry and didn't see anyone enter the restroom (not that I was in full on surveillance mode, mind you), so I suspect that he had been camped out there for some time prior to my arrival. I didn't hear pages turning or I would have just assumed that he was reading the paper - which, is fine when you're playing a home game, but a little rude when you're on the road.

Cell phone - While I did not hear newspaper rattling...I did hear the residual sound of a cell phone receiving text messages. What the fuck conversation is so important that it needs to be conducted on the shitter?

I would think that it is quite possible - given this person's flagrant abuse of the system - that he might also be a guy who doesn't wash his hands.

Independent George wrote:

Cell phone - While I did not hear newspaper rattling...I did hear the residual sound of a cell phone receiving text messages. What the fuck conversation is so important that it needs to be conducted on the shitter?

he might also be a guy who doesn't wash his hands.

As much as I can't stand listening to some jackass in the next stall take calls (this happens regularly in airport bathrooms) while I'm trying to concentrate on my personal business, I am really nauseated by the thought that this jackass is pissing/shitting/wiping and handling his cellphone with the same hands. Even if he washes his hands after the fact, can you imagine the residual germage that has been transferred to the phone that he will shortly be blithely holding against his face and right up to his mouth?

It is absolutely beyond the scope of my comprehension. There is absolutely no text or voice conversation that would trump the sanctity of taking a steaming dump.

unless the person on the other end was listening for the splash.

pastrami-on-wry wrote:

...this jackass is pissing/shitting/wiping and handling his cellphone with the same hands.

Poppy?

Poppy's kinda sloppy.

and he peed on my couch.

It's OK. I can give the couch to my dad.

Just turn over the cushions

Remembering his "floater" posts and his general affection for all things fecal, I was kind of hoping that his thread might flush out (sorry) the Pool Boy and get him to start posting again.

Probably too busy with RogueFood.

i95 wrote:

RogueFood

What?

pastrami-on-wry wrote:

i95 wrote:

RogueFood

What?

Hey! My favorite site!!!!!!!

Is Angus really Larry?

A public shitter? I thought you were some kind of super road warrior?

1st - Poor scheduling. Your BM should be like a finely tuned Swiss watch.

2nd - You couldn't talk your way into a private shitter somewhere in the building?

You're turning out to be half of the half of a man I thought you were. Please don't tell me you are an airplane shitter also.

Hey Angus! How they hangin buddy.